seeking perfection in an imperfect art form...

We just finished the second week of our run with The Love Song of J Robert Oppenheimer. Its really cool to feel it maturing and relaxing into a groove. We all know where the changes are, there is no more sense of low grade panic backstage. Its been replaced with a sense of timing and flow.
There's a thing that happens in the theater now ... the air gets a dense feeling to it, as if it has a texture. Every performance is different... carrying with it the emotions and feelings of each cast member.

For that reason, I think its an imperfect art form. Doesn't seem to be possible to "Do It Right." You can say the words in the right order, get on stage at the same time every night, always do the blocking and the physical business that has been planned, but its never the same. Its always evolving, opening and closing, deepening and moving on... That's what makes it so exciting. The dynamic between two performers is always compelling and always a bit different. As much as I want to hit the same notes every night, they are always colored with a slightly different hue, depending on what I have going on... The beauty is, its seems to add depth to the characters.

I have gotten over my fears of total and abject failure. The key was trust. Trusting that I am growing and developing the character, with in the parameters of the directors vision, but growing none the less.

Wondering what is going to happen after closing... no show lined up... probably need a break... do I want one... nope.

I don't have to choose, do I?

I've been in the midst of many things lately. It seems that there is always a lot to do, but the most fortunate thing is that I love all of it. Last week was fund drive week at Art of the Song Creativity Radio, which featured a Live event, a grant application and our annual letter to fans who support our mission of encouraging creative expression.

Art of the Song Live from the Filling Station in Albuquerque was too fun. Brad Stoddard and Tony Della Flora (Duke City Shoot Out) put together a team to shoot the event for ABQ's new cable access channel 26 Encantada TV. A four camera shoot is not easy with a lot of lead time and a budget. What they pulled off in three weeks, with no budget was amazing. Can't wait to share it with you when the edit is finished.

What does this have to do with acting? I went to a SAG Converstations program last fall with the cast of Breaking Bad. One thing that was repeated there and I've heard elsewhere a million times, is that if there is something you would rather do than act, then do THAT. It made me wonder... because I love doing my radio show, and I love acting. I think that, while I might never be Terry Gross or Laura Linney, I can live an incredibly fulfilling life being me doing both careers. As a Gemini, choices are stressful things. Both is usually the answer. Except when it comes to dessert...oh yes, and husbands.

The Drought is Over!

well.... hallelujah. I just got a call from Mother Road Theater Company's Artistic Director Julia Thudium and I've been offered the role of Kitty Oppenheimer in the Love Song of J. Robert Oppenheimer!

So interesting to me... I left the auditions last night in a funk thinking that I had not done a good job of assimilating direction and adjustments. What a relief. I have come close all year. So this feels really good. Kitty is a truly great part and I get to work with my good friend Christopher Hall with a really great company.

I was reading over my post from the other day and had this realization of something so painfully obvious I am embarrassed to share it here. That all those concerns about how I look, my weight, my age etc... have nothing to do with the craft of acting. I don't even think that they have anything to do with the business of acting anymore, really. In the realization I felt this wonderful release of energy, like a great cloud of smoke leaving my body. This sense of freedom in the moment took over. I am now released to focus on the work. Thank you, thank you, thank you.