We just finished the second week of our run with The Love Song of J Robert Oppenheimer. Its really cool to feel it maturing and relaxing into a groove. We all know where the changes are, there is no more sense of low grade panic backstage. Its been replaced with a sense of timing and flow.
There's a thing that happens in the theater now ... the air gets a dense feeling to it, as if it has a texture. Every performance is different... carrying with it the emotions and feelings of each cast member.
For that reason, I think its an imperfect art form. Doesn't seem to be possible to "Do It Right." You can say the words in the right order, get on stage at the same time every night, always do the blocking and the physical business that has been planned, but its never the same. Its always evolving, opening and closing, deepening and moving on... That's what makes it so exciting. The dynamic between two performers is always compelling and always a bit different. As much as I want to hit the same notes every night, they are always colored with a slightly different hue, depending on what I have going on... The beauty is, its seems to add depth to the characters.
I have gotten over my fears of total and abject failure. The key was trust. Trusting that I am growing and developing the character, with in the parameters of the directors vision, but growing none the less.
Wondering what is going to happen after closing... no show lined up... probably need a break... do I want one... nope.
Monday, September 21, 2009
Sunday, September 13, 2009
no words...
"How do I presume, and how should I begin... "
The opening lines (or something like it) for The Love Song of J Robert Oppenheimer...
Kind of how I feel at the moment. We opened on Friday after an intense three and a half weeks of rehearsal. The show is one of the best I've been in for many reasons...I will try to articulate them here but I may have to revisit it for some weeks to get some real perspective.
Okay so there is the word love in the title... and it was part of the whole tone, a tone that was set in the theater by Vic Browder and Julia Thudium, co-directors of the play for Mother Road Theater Company. Something so strong that I can only describe it as Reiki Energy. The process of rehearsing was one of love and compassion, not the airy fairy, touchy feely, creepy co-dependent "I'm okay you're okay" kind. It was the real kind. Tough, calling out unreal moments. Demanding, always setting the bar a little higher; the kind of energy that cracks what ever codes that need to be broken, to access the really good, deep work; and get to the truth of the Story. All the while guided by real vision and the ability to see it realized.
I am playing Kitty Oppenheimer. She is alcoholic, isolated by choice (as only an alcoholic can be ~ and don't I know it so well), and alienated from her contemporaries by her past. I imagine in the 1940's it was sort of difficult for her to fit in to the military environment of Los Alamos, given that she was German born, a member of the American Communist Party, and had been married three times before the age of 29. A threat to the military men on two counts and their wives on one...
I have probably the least number of lines in the show, and only play the one character, while Bill Sterchi, Brian Haney, Mark Hisler, and Courtney Cunningham play a several characters each and are on and off stage shaking off one costume and changing to another in a flash... sometimes literally. It is strangely isolating to be sitting backstage while they fly from one thing to the next. Oppie (Chris Atwood Hall) and Lilith (Danielle Louise Reddick) are never off stage, Lilith living in the cat walk over the stage. But lines or no lines, any appearance has just as much responsibility as any. Kitty creates a huge impact whenever she appears. Whip smart and intensely funny, she speaks her mind as it comes up... doesn't bother censoring until its too late, and even then... apologies tend to be at your expense. She could be a decidedly unpleasant character... if she wasn't so frightened and so deeply in love with Oppenheimer.
The cast. The cast is ... magnificent. (Them not me... more on that later). Each of the different characters are so well crafted that they are never "sketches" but deeply known portrayals of important factors of the story...
My work has been spotty. Some places connected and feeling good. Other times, I feel like a loose canon and have to guard against self annihilation, which is only tedious and a waste of energy. I remind myself that feelings aren't facts... move on. Suffice to say that after two performances, I felt locked in today and am grateful to have 14 more to enjoy.
okay so that's a start... more tomorrow.. too sleepy to continue articulately...
The opening lines (or something like it) for The Love Song of J Robert Oppenheimer...
Kind of how I feel at the moment. We opened on Friday after an intense three and a half weeks of rehearsal. The show is one of the best I've been in for many reasons...I will try to articulate them here but I may have to revisit it for some weeks to get some real perspective.
Okay so there is the word love in the title... and it was part of the whole tone, a tone that was set in the theater by Vic Browder and Julia Thudium, co-directors of the play for Mother Road Theater Company. Something so strong that I can only describe it as Reiki Energy. The process of rehearsing was one of love and compassion, not the airy fairy, touchy feely, creepy co-dependent "I'm okay you're okay" kind. It was the real kind. Tough, calling out unreal moments. Demanding, always setting the bar a little higher; the kind of energy that cracks what ever codes that need to be broken, to access the really good, deep work; and get to the truth of the Story. All the while guided by real vision and the ability to see it realized.
I am playing Kitty Oppenheimer. She is alcoholic, isolated by choice (as only an alcoholic can be ~ and don't I know it so well), and alienated from her contemporaries by her past. I imagine in the 1940's it was sort of difficult for her to fit in to the military environment of Los Alamos, given that she was German born, a member of the American Communist Party, and had been married three times before the age of 29. A threat to the military men on two counts and their wives on one...
I have probably the least number of lines in the show, and only play the one character, while Bill Sterchi, Brian Haney, Mark Hisler, and Courtney Cunningham play a several characters each and are on and off stage shaking off one costume and changing to another in a flash... sometimes literally. It is strangely isolating to be sitting backstage while they fly from one thing to the next. Oppie (Chris Atwood Hall) and Lilith (Danielle Louise Reddick) are never off stage, Lilith living in the cat walk over the stage. But lines or no lines, any appearance has just as much responsibility as any. Kitty creates a huge impact whenever she appears. Whip smart and intensely funny, she speaks her mind as it comes up... doesn't bother censoring until its too late, and even then... apologies tend to be at your expense. She could be a decidedly unpleasant character... if she wasn't so frightened and so deeply in love with Oppenheimer.
The cast. The cast is ... magnificent. (Them not me... more on that later). Each of the different characters are so well crafted that they are never "sketches" but deeply known portrayals of important factors of the story...
My work has been spotty. Some places connected and feeling good. Other times, I feel like a loose canon and have to guard against self annihilation, which is only tedious and a waste of energy. I remind myself that feelings aren't facts... move on. Suffice to say that after two performances, I felt locked in today and am grateful to have 14 more to enjoy.
okay so that's a start... more tomorrow.. too sleepy to continue articulately...
Friday, September 11, 2009
another opening another show...
The Love Song of J Robert Oppenheimer opens tonight. I think its the reason I started this blog in the first place ... I haven't been so in love with a show since Brian Friel's Translations. More over the weekend as I have had a chance to really process the journey. It is such a good one. I now I am back firmly on the Actor's Path. As my husband so sweetly observed... "seems like you have reconnected to your tribe..."
Monday, August 10, 2009
And of course if your HAIR looks good then it must be good...
The episode of In Plain Sight that I booked (see Gurney wrangling post...) aired last night as the cliffhanger finale to the season... it was so amazing to see what they did with it. Check it out if you can... that's me in scrubs on the left of the gurney...they used the sequence twice. Once as a wide shot, with sound, and once again later in a memory sequence as a close-up MOS. Looks really cool and I have nice coverage in both. And my hair... well say no more...
Sunday, August 9, 2009
All's well that ends well...
We close Passenger on the Ship of Fools tonight. Its been an amazing and humbling experience.
The good news is I have fallen in love with acting again.
Our great friends Kelly and Michael were here last evening and we talked about the play in detail. I portray Katherine Anne Porter between the ages of 40 and 65 or so as well as several other characters that factored in her short stories and in her life, including her grandmother and her father. Many of the changes happen quickly and on stage, though the transition to Hemingway... yes, that Hemingway... does get the benefit of an element of surprise as I enter from off stage. Kelly asked about how the transitions happen. This is where I realized that the fire in the belly was back... its in the physical leads that the characters come alive. Each one has a specific physicality that once established, informs the words and makes it feel natural.
For example, the Condessa (a drug addicted faded beauty) is all torsion through her torso. So a twist to the spine and a specific defensive, victim hand gesture triggers her next beat. The Father is dissolute, his spine is slack and the gesture one of need for a cigarette, the boyfriend David is all loose limbed, prep school and country club confidence. He is a smooth mover with grace and agility. Hemingway, takes two steps at a time, is barrel chested and maybe has a prostate kind of thing going on... Katherine Anne herself is light in stature, bird - like by description though incredibly strong on the inside. She has survived things that most would have never been able to brook. Her world is one of fabrication and yet she is completely present. She fidgets with her pearls in an almost constant state of reassurance.
It is so fun to find these physicalities and let them trigger the needs of the character propeling them into the next beat and causing the words to happen.
This is the joy I am experiencing, the territory that I was only able to tap in a surface way before. I am really looking forward to the next show The Love Song of J. Robert Oppenheimer to deepen the work. This time with one character - Kitty Oppenheimer.
The whole process feels as if I have been in a blender. I've been tumbled free of blocks and a carapace that has built up over time. It is humbling and thrilling at the same time...
The good news is I have fallen in love with acting again.
Our great friends Kelly and Michael were here last evening and we talked about the play in detail. I portray Katherine Anne Porter between the ages of 40 and 65 or so as well as several other characters that factored in her short stories and in her life, including her grandmother and her father. Many of the changes happen quickly and on stage, though the transition to Hemingway... yes, that Hemingway... does get the benefit of an element of surprise as I enter from off stage. Kelly asked about how the transitions happen. This is where I realized that the fire in the belly was back... its in the physical leads that the characters come alive. Each one has a specific physicality that once established, informs the words and makes it feel natural.
For example, the Condessa (a drug addicted faded beauty) is all torsion through her torso. So a twist to the spine and a specific defensive, victim hand gesture triggers her next beat. The Father is dissolute, his spine is slack and the gesture one of need for a cigarette, the boyfriend David is all loose limbed, prep school and country club confidence. He is a smooth mover with grace and agility. Hemingway, takes two steps at a time, is barrel chested and maybe has a prostate kind of thing going on... Katherine Anne herself is light in stature, bird - like by description though incredibly strong on the inside. She has survived things that most would have never been able to brook. Her world is one of fabrication and yet she is completely present. She fidgets with her pearls in an almost constant state of reassurance.
It is so fun to find these physicalities and let them trigger the needs of the character propeling them into the next beat and causing the words to happen.
This is the joy I am experiencing, the territory that I was only able to tap in a surface way before. I am really looking forward to the next show The Love Song of J. Robert Oppenheimer to deepen the work. This time with one character - Kitty Oppenheimer.
The whole process feels as if I have been in a blender. I've been tumbled free of blocks and a carapace that has built up over time. It is humbling and thrilling at the same time...
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Okay a vow is a vow...
Hello and oh my god... June 17 was so long ago. I remember somewhere in the distant past a vow to blog at least once a week... so I renew my pledge and get on with it...
Rehearsals were nothing short of illuminating. I am not the same person I was the last time I did a show. What's different? I am married, 50 years old, a business owner, a producer with a track record. All these things taken separately are enough to cause a lot of change in a person's way of showing up in the world. Combined and thrown into an old art form, all hell breaks loose.
I learned so much about myself and am happy to report that I am really glad to be acting again. There were moments, many of them, when the rehearsal schedule was going awry in an un-airconditioned theater, without the benefit of AEA union pay (my first show having left the union), that I thought I would really rather have spent the summer in the mountains relaxing.
Now that we are open I am so glad to be digging in... I play Katherine Anne Porter between the ages of 40 & 60 when she is in the belly of life so to speak. I also play several other characters from her life and the fictionalized versions of them that she used in her extraordinary short stories.
If you are in ABQ, do come out to see us... here's a link to a mention on the albuqueruqeARTS blog Impromptu
More later... for sure.
Rehearsals were nothing short of illuminating. I am not the same person I was the last time I did a show. What's different? I am married, 50 years old, a business owner, a producer with a track record. All these things taken separately are enough to cause a lot of change in a person's way of showing up in the world. Combined and thrown into an old art form, all hell breaks loose.
I learned so much about myself and am happy to report that I am really glad to be acting again. There were moments, many of them, when the rehearsal schedule was going awry in an un-airconditioned theater, without the benefit of AEA union pay (my first show having left the union), that I thought I would really rather have spent the summer in the mountains relaxing.
Now that we are open I am so glad to be digging in... I play Katherine Anne Porter between the ages of 40 & 60 when she is in the belly of life so to speak. I also play several other characters from her life and the fictionalized versions of them that she used in her extraordinary short stories.
If you are in ABQ, do come out to see us... here's a link to a mention on the albuqueruqeARTS blog Impromptu
More later... for sure.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Time Flies When You Go Underground
Wow. Its been over a month since I posted anything. There is so much to report. I have been on many auditions. Crash is now casting its second season. Went in for a fantastic role that was a recurring. It went to a wonderful actress from LA that I've seen in a lot of things. It was nice to be in the ring for a minute there.
Started rehearsals for Passenger on the Ship of Fools this week. Amazing script based on a moment in the life of Katherine Anne Porter, known as the female equivalent of Hemingway. It is set at the turning point of her life when she was finishing her only novel Ship of Fools.
I have to say, I took a moment outside the theater door when I arrived for the first rehearsal. Its at the Vortex Theater here in Albuquerque. I stood there, looking at the shadow box marquee with the show poster for the current production in it... savoring the feeling that I was walking in to a sacred space. A theater, with dressing rooms, a lobby and concession stand, a green room, a backstage area... wow. The smell, as the front door opened, was like an special incense made for that world; the world of imagination, creation, interpretation, and story. I think its probably what heaven smells like.
Also booked my first movie. Its a short film for the 48 Hour Film Project. Pretty darn excited about that!
Good to feel back in the saddle. I have not been posting because things got sort of nutty. My dear aging JuJu dog has an inoperable tumor that is causing her kidneys to fail. She seems outwardly good, but we are on borrowed time with her now. Our radio world continues to gallop apace. There are new shows in the archive to listen to, which are really fun. Hope you'll take time to visit Art of the Song Creativity Radio.
Started rehearsals for Passenger on the Ship of Fools this week. Amazing script based on a moment in the life of Katherine Anne Porter, known as the female equivalent of Hemingway. It is set at the turning point of her life when she was finishing her only novel Ship of Fools.
I have to say, I took a moment outside the theater door when I arrived for the first rehearsal. Its at the Vortex Theater here in Albuquerque. I stood there, looking at the shadow box marquee with the show poster for the current production in it... savoring the feeling that I was walking in to a sacred space. A theater, with dressing rooms, a lobby and concession stand, a green room, a backstage area... wow. The smell, as the front door opened, was like an special incense made for that world; the world of imagination, creation, interpretation, and story. I think its probably what heaven smells like.
Also booked my first movie. Its a short film for the 48 Hour Film Project. Pretty darn excited about that!
Good to feel back in the saddle. I have not been posting because things got sort of nutty. My dear aging JuJu dog has an inoperable tumor that is causing her kidneys to fail. She seems outwardly good, but we are on borrowed time with her now. Our radio world continues to gallop apace. There are new shows in the archive to listen to, which are really fun. Hope you'll take time to visit Art of the Song Creativity Radio.
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