Oh is that what you meant...

I took a workshop this weekend with Jane Jenkins and Janet Hirshenson. I went in with no expectations and guess what! I wasn't disappointed. The experience sort of ripened on me today... mulling over what the feedback was:

You have to get rid of this tentative quality if you are going to really dive into the deep end of the pool...

It resonated... but not really until just now. I see it so clearly. I am always testing the waters and checking myself from simply fully committing to choices. So what I thought was a lukewarm comment about a scene, was a gem of observation from some of the best in the business.

How lucky am I?

Gurney rangling & wild rides

What a trip... I shot the episode of In Plain Sight on Monday. It was really fun... I am a perfectionist and always feel that I could/should have done better. The experience of working at high speed navigating a gurney around two corners and through two sets of double doors while talking in a doctor like fashion was the most valuable exercise. Nothing can prepare one for that except experience. Which I now have! The cast and crew were great. It will air in a couple of weeks, so I'll let you know!

The biggest lesson learned was again about concentration and focus. When that is in place, all the bits and pieces can fall where they may. My performance will have a level of professionalism that is sustainable and leads to more work.

Now here's the greatest challenge... overcoming the mental stuff that wants me to believe that I don't really want to do this "acting thing." It's the voice that made me quit two or three times before. It's the voice of low self esteem that has in the past succeeded in getting me distracted. The distraction manifests as the sudden overwhelming need to start another career, or eat cookies and drink caffeinated beverages. Which would in turn create anxiety and prove to me that I am not cut out for this business. I am grateful to have a really amazing support group that I can express the fears of inadequacy to and move on. Quitting is not an option this time.

I did succumb to a part of a fruit tart and some real ice tea and what a surprise, I was total mess at the end of the night. Another lesson learned. That's small potatoes compared to where we could have gone, yes?

Looking forward... audition today for a movie. Teaching a lot of workshops and getting great creativity coaching clients on board...and its Spring. So beautiful.

and Breathing Out

Just got the call... I am booked to play the doctor on In Plain Sight, shooting this Friday...

and breathing in ...

and breathing out...

and smiling...

a lot...

The Art of Breathing In...

The first acting class I ever went to was in Carmel Valley, CA. A former teacher at the American Conservatory Theater in San Francisco was giving a one day workshop at a community center there. I think it was 1986. I had been doing a show at the Forest Theater in Carmel and had fallen head over heels in love with the intense concentration of acting. I was managing the Pebble Beach Equestrian Center at the time and would go to my rehearsals sometimes straight from work in my riding boots.

The class was amazing. The first experience I had ever had that allowed me to explore my inner world. One of his instructions, (I wish I could remember his name... it was long and I think French?) was to breathe deeply. After a couple of rounds he stopped everyone and said "Breathing deeply isn't just about breathing out. You all need to learn how to breathe in as deeply as you breathe out."

I share this with you today because of my continued fascination with the concentration of acting, and that, after many years I think I have finally learned how to breathe in...

My wonderful agent Lynette O'Connor (O'Agency) called last night at 7:30 to let me know that I was still in the running for a part on IPS that was being written in and out by the hour. It was actually for the part of the Doctor, that I originally prepared as reported in my last post. The table read is today so my guess is that it went either to the other actor they were considering or it was written out for good...

What this has to do with Breathing In, you ask... in meditation, breathing in is what stokes the fires of spiritual connection. It is the breath of inspiration and the ability to receive the gifts that the universe has in store for us. Abraham/Hicks talks about breathing in, knowing that my emotional escrow of joy and success is there, essentially collecting compound interest. Upon the long, slow, deliscious breath in... I know that it is only a matter of recognizing my successful actor career as witnessed by many bookings... on breathing out I send gratitude for all that I have and all that I have that I can not see as yet. Breathing in allows me to clear my vision, and stay alive in the mystery that we really never know what's around the next corner, or what's going on behind closed doors...